Idiot Proof Programs

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot proof programs and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. 

So far, the Universe is winning.

Coder Following Instructions Literally

Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week?

The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.

PHP Programmer Light Bulb Joke

How many PHP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It's a hardware problem.

PHP Programmer Light Bulb Joke

How many PHP programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?

Cautious Programmer

A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.